2 All Beef Patties Special Ross

Postal service the WORST joke you lot know

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• #176

Little Ray was always obsessed with the idea of owning two thousand pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong assurance. All of his life, whenever Ray would become his allowance, Ray would buy a couple more pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls. For his birthday, what did he ask for? ii chiliad pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls. For christmas? two 1000 pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls. For his highschool graduation? 2 thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls.

People never understood Rays obsession with the 2 thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls, even though people oftentimes wondered. People would say to him, "Ray, but why exercise y'all demand and desire two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls?", and sometimes "Ray, you lot're wasting your life trying to become two thousand pink and regal polka-dotted ping pong balls"... but none of this mattered. He uncomplicated had to accept all ii 1000 pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong balls, and told them that soon enough, he would tell them why he wanted them, and at that fourth dimension everyone would understaand his desire for 2 k pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls, and non but that, but that they would exist so amused past his reasoning for 2 thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls that their laughter upon finding out why would be the greatest thing always heard past humanity.

Then, one friday afternoon, while going to the shop to get his weekly pink and purple polkadotted ping pong balls, Ray was just walking along minding his own business, day dreaming about two thou pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls, when a pinkish and regal polka-dotted volkswagone bug his him and broke both of his legs and causing him to accept massive internal injuries. "Oh noes! My dreams of owning two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls is ruined!" Idea young Ray.

The ambulance soon arrive to take Ray to the hospital. When the parmedics asked Ray his name, family information, and several other questions, all he could respond was "2 1000 pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong assurance!". Shortly condign frustrated with the boy, and having no leads on the boy, they chosen in the local priest. In a boondocks every bit pocket-size as this, surely the priest would know of the boy who kept proclaiming his love for 2 thousand pinkish and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls. Sure enough, he did, the priest knew exactly who the ii thou pinkish and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls proclaiming boy was.

As the boy lay in bed struggling to breath, the priest asked him what he tin can do. Petty Ray said "please, fulfill my dream, bring me ii m pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong assurance!". So, the priest gathered upwardly the town, and went to all neighboring cities to detect 2 one thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls. When completed, they brought all two chiliad pinkish and purple polka-dotted ping pong assurance to his room, and asked anxiously "Then, Ray, finally, tell u.s., why two g pink and imperial polka-dotted ping pong balls"? Petty Ray, face beaming with joy, said, "Finally, my dreams are complete, and I get to bring you such happiness and joy explaining why I needed these two thou pink and imperial polka-dotted ping pong balls! I needed them because" And and then Ray died.

• #177

Originally posted past: stonecold3169
Little Ray was always obsessed with the thought of owning two thousand pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong balls. All of his life, whenever Ray would get his allowance, Ray would buy a couple more pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls. For his altogether, what did he enquire for? two thousand pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls. For christmas? two chiliad pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls. For his highschool graduation? two yard pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls.

People never understood Rays obsession with the two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls, even though people often wondered. People would say to him, "Ray, but why do yous need and want two thousand pinkish and royal polka-dotted ping pong balls?", and sometimes "Ray, you're wasting your life trying to go two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong assurance"... merely none of this mattered. He simple had to accept all two thousand pink and regal polka-dotted ping pong assurance, and told them that soon plenty, he would tell them why he wanted them, and at that time everyone would understaand his desire for two thousand pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong balls, and not only that, but that they would be so amused past his reasoning for 2 thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls that their laughter upon finding out why would be the greatest affair ever heard past humanity.

So, ane friday afternoon, while going to the store to get his weekly pinkish and purple polkadotted ping pong balls, Ray was just walking forth minding his ain business organisation, 24-hour interval dreaming about ii k pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong assurance, when a pink and imperial polka-dotted volkswagone bug his him and bankrupt both of his legs and causing him to take massive internal injuries. "Oh noes! My dreams of owning two thousand pinkish and regal polka-dotted ping pong balls is ruined!" Idea young Ray.

The ambulance soon get in to take Ray to the hospital. When the parmedics asked Ray his name, family unit information, and several other questions, all he could reply was "two thousand pinkish and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls!". Presently becoming frustrated with the boy, and having no leads on the boy, they called in the local priest. In a town as small as this, surely the priest would know of the boy who kept proclaiming his love for two 1000 pink and imperial polka-dotted ping pong balls. Sure enough, he did, the priest knew exactly who the two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls proclaiming boy was.

Equally the male child lay in bed struggling to jiff, the priest asked him what he tin can do. Footling Ray said "please, fulfill my dream, bring me two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls!". So, the priest gathered up the boondocks, and went to all neighboring cities to detect two thousand pink and majestic polka-dotted ping pong balls. When completed, they brought all two thousand pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls to his room, and asked anxiously "And so, Ray, finally, tell united states of america, why two thousand pink and royal polka-dotted ping pong assurance"? Piddling Ray, face beaming with joy, said, "Finally, my dreams are consummate, and I get to bring you such happiness and joy explaining why I needed these 2 thousand pink and regal polka-dotted ping pong assurance! I needed them because" And then Ray died.

why!!!! why did he demand them???

• #178

Originally posted by: PinchyCM
what's black and blue and doesn't like to have sex?

the boy in my torso. ... to far?

Help, I'thou scarred for life! (sarcasm)

• #179

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a petty boogie in it.

• #180

Ii snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I aroma carrots too".

I don't understand that at all...I know that they have carrots for noses but...??

• #181

Originally posted by: MAME

Ii snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I odour carrots besides".

I don't sympathise that at all...I know that they accept carrots for noses but...??

Maybe they are homosexual snowmen, and they decided to use their carrots for other parts, then decided to have a footling oral fun? I don't empathise it either.

Maybe that'due south why it's posted in the "WORST joke yous know" thread, instead of a thread by Brutus.

: ) Amanda

• #182

Originally posted by: dighn
a horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says "why the long face?"

That ane always gets a chuckle out of me.....especially when I heard it in Shrek2.

Oct 10, 1999

29,969

11,116

136

• #183

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

• #184

Originally posted by: Fe Woode
What'due south the hardest function of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

haha that was hillarious

how bout this ane

How do you scare a bee??

- boobee

• #185

Originally posted past: Atomic number 26 Woode
What'south the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?

The wheelchair.

haha, thats crawly

Apr 19, 2001

25,297

1,995

126

• #186

In the history of mankind, there has never been a worse joke than:

"In that location was this guy who but got a new task as a schoolhouse motorcoach driver for simple school children. He idea information technology would be prissy to pigment the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and then forth.
At his starting time stop, there was this very overweight lilliputian girl. He opened the door and said, "Hi, I'chiliad the new bus driver. What'due south your name?" The girl said that her name was Pattie. Waiting at the next stop was another overweight little girl. He said, "How-do-you-do, I'm the new bus commuter. What's your proper noun?" She said that her name was Pattie also.
At the next stop, at that place was a grown woman and a footling boy. The bus commuter said, "Howdy, I'thou the new motorcoach driver. What's your name?" The adult female piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." She connected, "He is very, very special, so I desire you to have extra skillful intendance of him." The bus driver replied, "No problem. He can have this seat right behind me and I tin lookout him in the mirror."
At the side by side cease, at that place was this little country male child standing there. The trivial boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking considering of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'thou the new bus commuter. What'due south your name?" The petty boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese." Well, piddling Lester picked at his bunions all the mode to the schoolhouse business firm, about driving the driver crazy.
At home later that nighttime, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. The human replied, "Well, I had Two Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Coach."

• #187

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
In the history of flesh, in that location has never been a worse joke than:

"There was this guy who just got a new job as a school jitney driver for elementary school children. He thought information technology would be nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and so forth.
At his first stop, there was this very overweight little daughter. He opened the door and said, "Howdy, I'm the new bus commuter. What's your proper name?" The girl said that her proper name was Pattie. Waiting at the next stop was another overweight petty girl. He said, "Howdy, I'grand the new jitney driver. What's your name?" She said that her name was Pattie likewise.
At the next terminate, at that place was a grown woman and a little male child. The jitney driver said, "Hi, I'yard the new bus driver. What's your proper name?" The adult female piped upwards and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra proficient care of him." The charabanc commuter replied, "No problem. He tin have this seat right behind me and I can watch him in the mirror."
At the next stop, in that location was this little state boy continuing there. The niggling boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor piddling boy had bug walking considering of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hullo, I'thousand the new double-decker driver. What's your proper noun?" The piddling boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese." Well, niggling Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the schoolhouse house, nearly driving the commuter crazy.
At abode subsequently that nighttime, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. The homo replied, "Well, I had 2 Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Coach."

You win.

• #188

Originally posted by: ohtwell

Originally posted by: MAME

2 snowmen are continuing in a field. Ane says to the other : "Funny, I scent carrots too".

I don't sympathize that at all...I know that they have carrots for noses but...??

Maybe they are homosexual snowmen, and they decided to use their carrots for other parts, so decided to have a lilliputian oral fun? I don't understand it either.

Possibly that's why information technology'southward posted in the "WORST joke you know" thread, instead of a thread by Brutus.

: ) Amanda

DORKS, THEY have carrots as noses but they don't know that. They smell carrots because they accept carrots equally noses.

If you lot still don't get it REREAD the in a higher place line.

:roll:

• #189

What is more fun than picking up dead babies with a scoop shovel?
Using a pitchfork

• #190

What do yous call a moo-cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

• #191

What do y'all call a cow with no legs?

Footing beef.

• #192

Originally posted by: badmouse

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
In the history of flesh, there has never been a worse joke than:

"There was this guy who just got a new job as a schoolhouse omnibus driver for elementary school children. He idea information technology would exist overnice to paint the school omnibus with characters from Sesame Street. So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and so along.
At his first stop, in that location was this very overweight footling daughter. He opened the door and said, "How-do-you-do, I'one thousand the new motorcoach driver. What's your name?" The girl said that her proper name was Pattie. Waiting at the next stop was another overweight piffling girl. He said, "Hi, I'g the new bus driver. What's your name?" She said that her proper name was Pattie as well.
At the side by side end, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus driver said, "Hullo, I'chiliad the new bus driver. What'southward your name?" The woman piped up and said, "His proper noun is Ross and he is my son." She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want yous to accept extra practiced intendance of him." The bus driver replied, "No problem. He can take this seat right behind me and I can watch him in the mirror."
At the next stop, in that location was this picayune country boy continuing there. The piffling boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his anxiety. The poor footling boy had problems walking because of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new charabanc driver. What's your name?" The lilliputian male child replied, "My name is Lester Cleese." Well, little Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the schoolhouse firm, almost driving the driver crazy.
At habitation later on that nighttime, his wife asked him how his first twenty-four hour period on the new job was. The man replied, "Well, I had Ii Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Passenger vehicle."

You win.

I don't get it. What song is this from?

• #193

Trade in your breakfast for a Dannon Frusion Smoothy Sorry I keep seeing this commercial and it is kind of tricky. lol

• #194

Okay, I'll admit I found more here funny than I should. My severe inner geek had a chuckle at the "two bytes in a bar" one. Great shaggy canis familiaris story, StoneCold - this thread needed at least one example.

Hither'south my contribution. Although information technology'southward a personal favourite, nearly detect information technology inane, and so it may fit the thread.

BOOM! Fire the tachyon guns!

(you either get it or yous don't...)

• #195

Originally posted by: raanemaan
What is more fun than picking upwardly dead babies with a scoop shovel?
Using a pitchfork

I've heard information technology like this:

What'south the divergence between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dead babies?

You can't unload a dump truck full of bowling assurance with a pitchfork.

• #196

Originally posted by: Amorphus
I don't become it. What vocal is this from?

From the McDonald'south Large Mac jingle "2 all beefiness patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun"

• #197

An American walks into a motel antechamber, wanting a room for the night. The cabin clerk asks the American "how many sheets would yous like on your bed?" The American replies, "well, since it's hot outside, I think I'll just want two sheets on my bed."

An hour later, a Canadian walks into the vestibule. The clerk asks, "how many sheets do you want on your bed?" The Canadian replies, "well, since information technology's summer and hot outside, I think I'd just desire one canvas on my bed, thanks."

An hour later, a Mexican walks into the lobby. The clerk asks, "how many sheets would you want on your bed?" The Mexican flips out and yells, "If anybody sheets on my bed I will keel him!"

• #198

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
An American walks into a motel anteroom, wanting a room for the night. The cabin clerk asks the American "how many sheets would you similar on your bed?" The American replies, "well, since it's hot outside, I recollect I'll just want two sheets on my bed."

An hour later, a Canadian walks into the antechamber. The clerk asks, "how many sheets do you desire on your bed?" The Canadian replies, "well, since it's summer and hot outside, I recall I'd just desire one sheet on my bed, thanks."

An hr later on, a Mexican walks into the entrance hall. The clerk asks, "how many sheets would you want on your bed?" The Mexican flips out and yells, "If everyone sheets on my bed I will keel him!"

Lol that one was good :thumbsup:

• #199

Originally posted by: ohtwell

Originally posted by: MAME

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I aroma carrots too".

I don't understand that at all...I know that they accept carrots for noses only...??

Maybe they are homosexual snowmen, and they decided to use their carrots for other parts, then decided to have a little oral fun? I don't empathise it either.

Perhaps that'south why information technology's posted in the "WORST joke you know" thread, instead of a thread by Brutus.

: ) Amanda

Someone completely missed the joke.

• #200

Two snakes walk into a bar, the bartender said, "Concord it, we don't serve snakes. They tin't agree their liquor."

-------------------------------------------------

How practise you lot make your wife scream during sex?

Call back and tell her where yous are.....

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Source: https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/post-the-worst-joke-you-know.1367042/page-8